“This is our last-ditch effort to save our marriage, or we’re getting a divorce!”
Sadly, this statement is frequently heard in the therapy room. Often, couples do not consider therapy as an option until it is almost too late.
By this point in many relationships, hurt feelings, anger, aggression, and deep pain are so prevalent that it almost feels easier to go through a divorce than to try to fix the marriage.
These painful feelings can be caused for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, people just get busy with life, work, or children and fail to make their partner a priority. Crucial needs end up being neglected.
Also, many partners don’t understand each other’s needs or how to fulfill their husband or wife’s desires. This misunderstanding and lack of know-how can lead to feelings of neglect, disrespect, and a sense of being unloved. Lack of communication or miscommunication can also pile on years of frustration, disagreement, and tension.
Other times, abuse abounds, an affair can occur, an addiction is prevalent, or pornography is discovered, and any of these can cause a gross sense of betrayal and create a rift in the relationship that can feel unrepairable.
Regardless of how your relationship got to this point… A HEALTHY MARRIAGE IS POSSIBLE!
Even if you can’t see it now, know that your marriage can be healed…
Everyone has heard the saying that, “Marriage takes work.” The work that is required starts with being intentional and purposeful. You cannot haphazardly have a good partnership.
Sadly, most people are not taught how to have a phenomenal marriage or partnership. People learn relationship patterns from their family of origin, and often these relationships skills are lacking.
Yes, you can learn how to have an awesome connection and a deep intimacy.
You can learn to communicate well and understand the heart of your spouse.
Your relationship can even be healed from a devastating betrayal and become even stronger than before.
However, like any other life skill, you must have the right tools and the right teacher.
Your marriage is worth fighting for! Your marriage matters, because healthy couples create healthy families.
There are so many benefits to couples counseling…
Having a calmer and more peaceful life is just one of the outcomes that therapy can offer.
Another benefit is increasing and bettering communication. This is done by examining the hidden messages in the heart that interfere with communication.
Some of these messages can be feelings of not being good enough, believing you are not a priority, or that you are an inconvenience. Other messages include not feeling loved, important, or respected.
Life is not about the memory of an event, but the messages the memory left behind. Some of these messages can be healthy and other messages, like the ones mentioned above, can have a devastating impact on your life and your relationships.
With the help of a skilled counselor, partners will explore the heart messages that each person has acquired and how these messages have had an impact on the relationship.
Both partners will then discover how to communicate their needs effectively, which leads to a deeper love, greater connection, and increased respect.
Healthy boundaries will be explored, along with finding creative solutions to reoccurring problems. Reoccurring problems can be parenting issues, financial struggles, not having enough emotional or sexual intimacy in the marriage, one partner not keeping their promises, or feeling a lack of help around the house.
Betrayal feelings from an affair or addiction will also be addressed while searching for healing through a full disclosure and reconciliation. This path is not easy, but it is worth the fight to a healthy relationship.
Therapy will empower each partner to be able to discuss their deepest needs, including their sexual needs and desires. With the correct communication skills and creating a secure home where vulnerability is accepted and encouraged, a passionate, frequent, and sensual sex life can be enjoyed by both partners.
Don’t use counseling as your last resort. Make it your first line of defense.
Whether you are in your second decade of marriage, are newlyweds, or are veterans in marriage, your relationship is worth the investment.
Don’t allow fear of the unknown to hold you back from acquiring the relationship skills, tools, and connection that will make your marriage phenomenal.
Throw out the excuse that nothing will ever change, so why bother trying? Create the time to invest in your marriage. It will be a hard journey, but a journey that can have exponential rewards and benefits.
Marriage counseling is a trek worth taking.
Call today and start a new legacy with your spouse: (407) 285-6284